Lived Experience. Legal Knowledge. Real Change.

IAAPS was founded by Reuben Fontaine to fill the gap between expensive solicitors and lonely court battles.

Our Mission

Why IAAPS Exists

The International Association of Alienated Parents Society (IAAPS) is a UK based Community Interest Company (CIC). The registered office is at Star Print House, 129 Scotland Road, Nelson, Lancashire, BB9 7AR.

IAAPS was founded on a simple belief. No child should be manipulated into losing a relationship with a loving parent or grandparent. The system can feel stacked against the parent who just wants a normal relationship with their child. IAAPS exists to level the playing field.

The mission is to provide free and practical support to parents and grandparents who are being pushed out of their children's lives. IAAPS explains what "alienating behaviours" are and how UK family courts respond to them. The term "alienating behaviours" is preferred in UK courts because it focuses on observable actions rather than a medical label.

Every resource IAAPS provides is built around one central question. What is best for the child? We do not help parents fight each other. We help parents restore a child's right to love both sides of their family. We do not take sides based on gender. Mothers can alienate. Fathers can alienate. The only side we take is the child's.

Most solicitors charge large fees just to explain the basics of family law. Reuben Fontaine believes that knowing your rights should not depend on your bank balance. He has advised people all over the world for free. This website puts that advice in one permanent place.

The long term goal is to host an international conference bringing together judges, Social Workers, Cafcass officers, police, solicitors, and parents. The aim is to create a global standard for identifying and stopping alienating behaviours.

Meet Reuben Fontaine

Mr R J Fontaine LLB
Eucharist Minister

Reuben (Ben) Fontaine studied Family Law at the University of East London. He has over 20 years of personal experience navigating the family court system.

For the past 10 years, Reuben has not seen his own children. He states that his former partner groomed the children against him. He has never spoken ill of the other parent to the children. This is a point he is clear about. He believes that speaking badly about the other parent only makes the situation worse for the child.

Instead of focusing on his own loss, he has used his legal training and personal experience to help others trapped in the same situation. He understands the frustration of dealing with a system that often fails to recognise what is happening until the alienation is severe.

Through his work on X (Twitter) under the handle @ReubenFontaine, Reuben provides direct advice to parents across the globe. He assists people with family matters including court paperwork and mediation support. He does this at no cost.

IAAPS is the next step in that mission. It is a permanent home for the resources and strategies that have already helped many people find their way back to their children.

Please note that Reuben does not provide psychological diagnoses or act as a solicitor. IAAPS offers peer support and legal information only. IAAPS helps people understand the law and prepare their own case documentation.

A Message from Reuben Fontaine - Launch Day 2026

International Association Alienated Parents Society CIC

Reuben Fontaine LLB

Today we launch the website aimed at helping ordinary people deal with being alienated from their children. We are also here to support professionals dealing with this issue. The aim of the site is to start to bring this problem to the forefront with the public, with our aim to have an international conference to discuss this issue with all professional bodies, solicitors, police, judges, social services, Cafcass, as well as the general public.

My name is Reuben Fontaine LLB. I have not seen my children for the last 10 years. They are Lily Fontaine and Benjamin Fontaine. The mother, Gillian Fontaine Grist, had groomed the children since they were very young, culminating when they were 13 years old, completely destroying that relationship. I had watched our children come into this world at birth and they are my world.

From the age of 12 months, the mother had told me that "I can take Benjamin away from you anytime I want." This came as a total shock to me as I had not realised what the real implications of what she had said meant. At the time I responded, "If you do that I would fight with everything in me to be with my child." Unknown to me, this was a very serious statement, and intention she had in her mind to complete.

Over the next six months, through a podcast, you will see me going through the events that led up to a final court hearing. That court hearing was to ask for help from the courts to stop me being alienated from my children. The presiding judge at summing up informed us both that "The truth will out." Basically, there was nothing that he could do to help stop this activity the mother commenced to alienate me from my children.

For many years I watched the mother draw my children further and further away from me and there was nothing I could do. My contact order gave me half the summer holidays, some 3 weeks. At this time a holiday was booked to Egypt for us three. I went to collect the children from the mother. My daughter ran into the house and the mother said she did not want to go. We had in the past visited a great number of countries; we all loved flying to new places around the world. I took my son and had to leave my daughter. The stress and upset of that incident ruined my and my son's holiday.

Throughout the podcast I will go through in detail the incidents that led up to the mother completely destroying the father's relationship with his children. I have never said much about what I went through to the children, and this will be an opportunity for them to understand my side of events that led up to the 10 years and on-going of me having no contact with my children. All that you will hear and see will be the truth, not only for you but for my children. This will be my legacy to them, hoping that they will see and understand how we reached the position we are in now today.

Throughout my journey with this alienation there have been some people that have supported me financially and helped me get through the depression of not seeing my children. These people know who they are, and I look forward to putting them back into the position they were in when they first met me. There is no greater pain than losing one's children. This is nearly the same, only that you know where they are but can't see or have any interaction with them.

It will also, through the membership, help the organisation to pay for a venue to hold an international conference to discuss this issue. Hoping that a better pathway can be found to eliminate this issue permanently. Over the last 10 years through Twitter, now X, I have been able to connect with people from all over the world dealing with the same issues of a parent alienating the other parent. I have been able to offer free legal advice and support in court. In some cases judges have allowed me to speak, in many not so.

The site will offer support and practical ways of avoiding this alienated behaviour, provide the member with professional advice through a network of solicitors and barristers, mostly to understand what the family is going through and ways forward.

Yours very sincerely,

R J Fontaine LLB

Our Identity

Why We Chose Our Logo

The IAAPS logo was chosen to reflect our core mission: giving families a clear, structured way through the legal system. The clean, geometric design stands for stability and logic. It shows the move from emotional confusion to clear facts that a court can use.

At the center of the logo we have two loving parents and the child. We all hope and wish this for any relationship we have. This is surrounded by a loving heart. Within the heart we see love doves. Looking to the right and the left we see in black, a mother or a father taking the child away, alienating a parent.

This is the actions we are looking to stop. No parent has the right to alienate the children from a loving parent.

Our Values

What IAAPS Stands For

Clear Information

Complex UK family law is explained in plain English. No jargon. No confusion. The goal is for any parent to understand exactly what the court is looking for.

Lived Experience

The founder has lived through the system. He understands the pain of being cut off from a child. This is not theoretical knowledge. It is real.

Fair Access

Everyone deserves to understand their rights. Core resources are always free. The GBP 10.00 membership is optional and helps fund the future conference.

Privacy First

IAAPS understands the sensitivity of ongoing court proceedings. Member information is protected. Payment descriptors are neutral to avoid creating issues in active cases.

The 2026 Legal Landscape

Current Legal Guidance

In 2026, UK family courts focus on "alienating behaviours" rather than any "syndrome." The Family Justice Council published guidance in December 2024 confirming this approach. The guidance reminds courts that decisions of fact are a judicial function.

IAAPS aligns with this guidance. IAAPS does not offer diagnosis. IAAPS offers education. IAAPS helps people document observable behaviours using evidence based frameworks. This is exactly what the court wants to see.

Frequently Asked Questions

Who founded IAAPS and why?

IAAPS was founded by Reuben Fontaine. He has a degree in Family Law from the University of East London. He has over 20 years of personal experience with alienating behaviours and has not seen his own children for 10 years. He started IAAPS to give free support to others facing the same situation.

Is IAAPS a charity?

IAAPS is a Community Interest Company (CIC) based in Nelson, Lancashire. The goal is to become a registered charity in the future. The GBP 10.00 membership fee helps cover costs until larger donations can be accepted.

Does IAAPS offer legal advice?

No. IAAPS provides legal information and peer support. We are not a law firm. We help you understand the law and prepare your own documents. We cannot represent you in court.

What is the IAAPS conference?

IAAPS plans to host an international conference bringing together judges, police, Cafcass officers, solicitors, and parents from around the world. The goal is to create a global standard for identifying and stopping alienating behaviours.

Does IAAPS take sides in family disputes?

No. IAAPS is focused only on what is best for the child. We do not support feuding parents using the court to score points. If there are genuine safeguarding concerns like domestic violence or substance abuse, the court will handle those separately.

You Deserve to Be Heard.

Contact IAAPS Today